Surviving IVF: How to Keep Going With Work and Life When Everything Feels Harder
- Rachael Robinson
- Jan 21
- 5 min read
Table of Contents
A compassionate guide to managing daily demands during IVF treatment
In this article, you will learn:
Why Surviving IVF requires different expectations and more self-compassion
How to reduce mental and physical load during treatment
Practical ways to support your nervous system and ask for help without guilt
Introduction
Surviving IVF is about far more than managing appointments and injections. For many people, the hardest part is figuring out how to keep going with work, family life, and everyday responsibilities while your body and nervous system are under immense strain. IVF does not pause the rest of your life, yet it asks a huge amount of you physically and emotionally. If you are finding this difficult, that is not a personal failing. It is a very normal response to an intense and demanding process.
IVF affects your body more than most people realise
IVF places a significant physical load on the body, even when side effects appear manageable on paper.
Appointments often disrupt the working day. Medications can change at short notice. Timelines shift. Goalposts move. You may need to collect medications urgently or adapt to new injection protocols with very little notice.
In addition, hormonal stimulation can affect sleep, appetite, digestion, mood, energy, and focus. Even subtle changes require energy to adapt to. When your body is working this hard behind the scenes, it is no surprise that everything else feels heavier.
Surviving IVF means recognising that your capacity may be temporarily reduced, and that this is expected.
The emotional toll of constant monitoring
One of the most underestimated aspects of IVF is the impact of constant monitoring on the nervous system.
Blood tests, scans, embryologist calls, and portal updates can be deeply triggering. Each update carries hope, uncertainty, and fear. Each phone call or notification can send your body into a surge of adrenaline.
Over time, this keeps the nervous system in a heightened state of alert. Even if you are coping well externally, this internal vigilance is exhausting. As a result, many people feel a type of tiredness that rest alone does not resolve. This is often nervous system fatigue rather than physical exhaustion alone. I dont think that I ever really realised the impact on my nervous system until after my son was born. You just keep going without much time to reflect or rest.
Surviving IVF is not about thriving
During IVF, the aim is not balance, productivity, or optimisation. The aim is to get through. This is a time of endurance, not growth. Expecting yourself to perform at your usual level often increases stress rather than reducing it. Lowering the bar temporarily is not giving up. It is a necessary adjustment. Surviving IVF means allowing yourself to do less without attaching judgment to that choice. This was something that I found very difficult - and I think in the world of social media it can appear that others manage to do it all and have it all, when the reality is that often people are not coping behind the scenes.
Focus on the essentials only
One of the most helpful questions during IVF is this: what truly needs to be done right now?
Keep the essentials going. Let everything else soften. This might mean simplifying work output, reducing social plans, or letting go of non-urgent tasks at home. If its urgent and important ok - if not it can wait.
Doing the minimum required to keep life ticking over is often enough during this phase. Some days, simply showing up is the achievement.
Ask for support, even if it feels uncomfortable
Many people struggle to ask for help during IVF. However, support can make a meaningful difference.
Often partners want to help but do not know how. I experienced this myself with my husband. Once I gave him specific guidance on meals to make and jobs around the house, he felt much more useful, and I felt less overwhelmed. Clear, practical requests work best. This might include cooking, food shopping, managing washing, or handling logistics. Asking for support is not a burden. It allows others to show up for you.
Plan ahead to reduce daily decision making
Surviving IVF is easier when you reduce the number of decisions you need to make each day.
Planning ahead where possible can significantly lower mental load. For example, pre-cooking meals or ordering from companies such as Frive, Field Doctor, or Calo can remove the pressure of daily cooking.
A helpful rule is to cook once and eat twice. Batch cooking saves both energy and time when your capacity is limited.
Similarly, pre-ordering supplements and organising them into a pill box can reduce mental load. When everything is prepared, there is less to think about.
Support your nervous system after adrenaline surges
IVF involves frequent moments of heightened stress. Scan days, phone calls, and results can all trigger adrenaline surges. Having a plan for how you will support your nervous system in these moments is important.
This might include stepping outside into nature, five minutes of slow breathing, using a colouring book, or lying down with your legs up the wall. These small practices help signal safety to the body and allow your system to settle. Regular, brief moments of calm are often more effective than occasional longer sessions.
Emotional unpredictability is part of Surviving IVF
Hormonal changes combined with ongoing uncertainty can make emotions feel more intense and less predictable.
Some days you may feel capable and steady. Other days small things may feel overwhelming. This does not mean something is wrong with you. This is biology interacting with stress.
Try not to analyse every emotional response. Not every feeling needs meaning or action. Sometimes it simply needs space. I remember a friend once saying to me that sometimes its ok to have a day in bed when you cry - this is not failing, it is allowing the emotions space to be.
Protect your energy and your boundaries
Surviving IVF often requires stronger boundaries than usual.
You are allowed to say no to plans. You are allowed to skip events. You are allowed to limit updates or keep your journey private. Making your world smaller for a while is not selfish. It is protective. This season will not last forever, even if it feels all-consuming right now.
Conclusion
Surviving IVF means recognising that you are carrying something heavy, even if no one else can see it. The physical demands, emotional uncertainty, and nervous system load are real. You do not need to do this perfectly. You do not need to cope beautifully. If all you did today was get through, that is enough.
This is a chapter, not the whole story.
Next Steps
If you are struggling with Surviving IVF and want personalised nutritional and lifestyle support through treatment, I work with individuals and couples at every stage of the IVF journey. You do not have to navigate this alone. You can reach out via the contact form or explore my IVF nutrition resources to receive tailored, evidence based support through every stage of treatment. You can also join my newsletter for evidence based guidance and gentle emotional support.
Arrange a 1:1 session with me to create a personalised, practical strategy for the months ahead.
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